Do Men Really Dislike Colors, or Are They Just Afraid of the Society’s Judgments?

“This yellow t-shirt is really good and I really like the pink-ish artwork, but there’s no way I’m gonna wear it.”

“Why not?"
“Well, because it’s yellow and pink, of course. I don’t wear those colors."
“Why don’t?”
“Because… uh, it’s yellow and pink??? I just don’t wear those colors. Now stop asking and let’s check out other shirts.”

This conversation happened not too long ago between my friend—who’s a boy—and I. Since then I’ve been always closely watching the men all around me, and realizing that there are very few of them who wear various colors in public. It seems like men tend to feel discouraged to be existing in public along with the appearance of the color yellow, purple, pink, and other bright colors on their bodies—they feel that it is ‘safer’ to wear ‘neutral’ labeled-colors, such as white, black, and brown.

Personally, I think that it is okay not to buy pink t-shirt if you really don’t like pink because it is pink by nature, but not to buy pink t-shirt because you don’t like pink and the dislike starts from thinking that the majority of the society will not favor your pink t-shirt while deep down you yourself like it or are okay with it… I don’t think that’s a sufficient reason. It doesn’t even suffice as an explanation. And yes, for me it is a problem. in fact, this should be a problem for us all.

The sad thing is, some colors are labeled feminine and therefore they are made for women, but instead of being labeled as masculine colors, some other colors are labeled neutral and therefore they are safe to be worn by men, but pretty much also safe to be worn my women as well. When it comes to colors, women are ‘given’ more options than men. This whole gender bias thing and how its hegemony has rooted too deep within the society is very disheartening.

Fun fact #1, ladies and gentlemen, COLORS DON’T HAVE GENDER.

Some people dislike the idea of feminism and unsupportive of its movements because they misunderstood the whole concept as an attempt to place women in higher position than men, while what we strive for, is equality. Some people fail to see that the current status quo is not only harmful and disadvantaging for women, but for men as well.

Let’s see. Most of the times women are the victim yet the blame is on us, women are wrong for wearing hijab because it’s a sign that they are oppressed yet women are also wrong for wearing short skirts because that way they are ‘asking for it’, women are wrong for putting red lipstick on because that bright lips make them look like a prostitute yet women are also wrong for having a bare face on public because instead of looking natural they will look pale and it’s ugly. These are some real life examples that happen on daily basis that it has been considered normal that way. Luckily, some people—that’s us!—happen to realize that it’s not normal; that it’s wrong and it needs to stop.

But gender bias is also harmful and disadvantaging for men as well. Since they were just little boys, most of them were yelled at for crying, because crying is a sign of weakness and one most important thing that men shouldn’t be is weak. Boys were not allowed to play Barbie dolls—some even went further to not letting their sons to play any dolls at all, because dolls are just too ‘girly’. Baby boys can only wear blue, yet baby girls can wear both blue and pink. This bias has been internalized so deep within us that we began to think that it’s normal. Men indeed should not cry. You’re sad? Chin up, you’re a man. Men indeed should not wear pink or yellow. Black shirt and khaki trousers and white sneakers and a hint of red watch, a dark kind of red of course, I don’t want to be seen too colorful. I want to look cool. I’m a man.

It’s disadvantaging because men, as a human being, cannot be just who they want to be. It’s disadvantaging because men, as a human being, cannot be completely happy. Most of them are not wearing colors not because they personally hate colors since the very beginning, but because the society and the gender bias has gotten so deep into their consciousness and make them hate it for no apparent reason. Men’s choices and options in life are limited, and that’s simply because they were born with a biological reproduction organ named penis when they were never asking for it since the very beginning. It’s harmful because in fact there’s a higher suicide rate among teen boys because they are ‘trained’ to feel as if they don’t need to reach out and get help when they have issues because it’s not manly. Yep, it all started from color choices and ended up in human beings’ lives.

You think I’m exaggerating? You think that the entire phenomenon I listed above is normal and there’s nothing to worry about? Hegemony could begin and became imperishable because it is being normalized and seen as normal or even ideal in our ways of life. It is not.

There’s no such thing as an ideal men or women. There’s only an ideal you, and you yourself are the one who have the full control over it. Despite of being a woman or a man, an ideal you is a happy you, and that should be enough.